E.T. (1982)

Mike says Oy. Where to start? I have to say, upon reflection, E.T: The Extra Terrestrial may in fact be the stupidest name Spielberg could have picked for this movie. This is like making a comic book film with a character named "Super-hero" and then calling it Super Hero: The super-powered heroic human. Is this dumb and overstated? Yes, yes, it is. As is title of the film.

Anyway, as a kid, I watched this film countless times, I'm not sure why. And even then, I found it, well, boring. Watching it now, the pace of the film certainly sets it apart from modern day fare. Rather than filled with comedic crotch punches, explosions, and menacing, idiotic bad guys, the film is thought out, heartfelt, and takes its time to tell the story it wants to tell.

That said, it's an incredibly preachy story, and so full of cliches and stereotypes that even as a kid I probably could have told you exactly what would happen next.

Aside from all this, it's easy to see why the film has earned its classic status. Between the children's performances, the rather amazing performance of the puppet itself, and John Williams' stellar (though familiar) score, it really is a remarkable film.

I should mention that the version I watched was the re-release, with added scenes and effects. While I wasn't opposed to the updated versions of the Star Wars movies (at least, at first, until George KEPT DOING IT), this is the first film that really helped me understand how, well, offensive updating and tinkering can be. The film no longer works as a whole because it doesn't have a uniform look: the swap between puppet and cgi is severe, and the extra scenes really did belong on the cutting room floor where they were.

Oh, and can I say they pushed the clueless Mom too far? Cause they did.

Honestly, I'm a little perplexed by just how harsh I'm coming down on the film. It's a classic, and it really does deserve to be. But watching it again as an adult is really a revelatory process, one which shows the imperfections of something considered by many to be flawless. This is a film generally considered to be the best Science Fiction movie ever made. But many aspects of the plot are so fundamentally flawed (Kate mentions many of these flaws below), that such a declaration is almost insulting to a true science fiction fan.

And yet... I was still sort of excited when I found my son watching E.T the other morning. The feelings of disillusionment all sort of disappeared as I watched my son laugh as E.T. watched TV and got hit by the fridge door. He giggled when E.T. hid in the stuffed animals. He pointed and shouted with excitement when Elliot and E.T. flew on the bike. And he was absolutely blown away when E.T. and the kids all flew to the spaceship. Watching my son watch the film, completely caught away in its world, I smiled and remembered what it was like to believe.

Kate says I'll get the objections out of the way first.

Whenever I think about E.T., I remember a comedy routine I heard once. The comedian went to see E.T. with his girlfriend. When the movie reached the part where E.T. and Elliot fly the first time, the girlfriend leaned over and whispered, "Oh, that could never happen."

The comedian's response: "That?! THAT could never happen?"

The other thing that comes to mind is: why are extraterrestrials never out to make a buck (except in Star Trek)? Why are they either cute vegetarians or buggy villains?

And why can't these particular cute, vegetarian aliens count? Surely, they know they've left an alien brother, father, drone-buddy behind? And can't they remember where they last parked without E.T. "phoning" them? (I'm not sure I buy Elliott's argument that these are aliens of higher intelligence; if you can drive a star ship, shouldn't you be able to read a star-chart?)

Not to mention, it sure is a good thing the "bad guys" show up in the end! What was Elliott going to do otherwise? Have his life sucked out of him by some supposedly friendly being from another planet?

However, I'm not being fair. The movie isn't science-fiction; it is fantasy. It is about a boy whose ordinary life is disrupted and enhanced by a "goblin," something beyond belief or understanding.

And I think this is what our human fascination with aliens comes down to--that aliens will touch our lives with grandeur, change us forever, endow our world with magic. My problem is that although I love the idea, in my heart of hearts, I believe if aliens did show up, they would quickly become ordinary and prosaic, involving trade agreements and diplomatic blah-de-blah, stuff that doesn't involve me much now. Okay, sure, I would have a few EFHL (English as a First Human Language) students, but otherwise . . .

Setting aside the message, then, what strikes me most about the movie is the sheer professionalism. The child actors are not only natural but talented; Henry Thomas's performance is, considering his age, remarkably understated. The movie contains multiple memorable images: the guys with flashlights at the fence; the returned baseball; E.T. as stuffed animal; the liberated frogs; the revitalized flowers; the mom reading Peter Pan; the empty forest after Halloween; the arrival of the "bad guys"; Elliott's panic over E.T.'s death; the kids bicycling across the setting sun. Spielberg is a notable director for a reason!

And the images are surprisingly non-dated (I saw the non-updated version). Not only the clothing--Elliot in long-johns could be any kid in any era--but the cinematography has a fresh, modern feel. When I looked up E.T. on imdb, I was startled that it was made in 1982 (I did see it at the time; I just don't remember being only 11). I thought of it as a much later--closer to 1990s--film. (However, if it had been made in the 1990s, humongous cellphones would have given it away; humongous cellphones are what totally undermine X-Files' otherwise timeless look.)

By the way, in keeping with the previous discussion of symbolism, I never realized before how much E.T. represents a father-figure to Elliott. I think this piece of symbolism may be deliberate. Elliott insists that E.T. is male despite Gertie's tendency to dress him up in women's clothes. And at the end, Elliott chooses to stay with his mother--who is abruptly on the scene--rather than with his "new," beloved father who is going much further away than Mexico.

I have to mention: what about all those Star Wars references?!